©John Teschky (1987, 2003)

In your heart you know I am right: beware
The Celery Root, A.K.A. Beatnik
Beet, Progressive Potato, Grass-Roots Root.
Do not eat it.

I know its habits. Listen carefully.
It hold the doctrines of the Underground,
Was an abused child: it spent months bereft
Of sight and sound.

A freak. Comrade of sleazy pinko food.
A leading produce-section terrorist.
All freedom-loving grocers please take note:
Check shopping lists.

A known companion of subversive sprouts
With unruly hair, and of sly tofu
That can slip untasted into the most
Loyal of food.

It likes the company of these low-lifes:
It suffers from inferiority
Because its siblings are prominent
True Celery

But real Americans need not fear. I,
John Rambo, the Rimbaud of the New Empire
Have a plan. I will strike that root. I will
Make its heart bleed.